jessica’s tips and tricks for disney world

Yes, I went to Disney this week, and yes, I wish I had this guide. First, let me start by saying no matter how old you are, Disney World is fucking amazing. But just like any other amazing thing in life, it always comes with a pile of stressful scenarios. Relax, chill out. I have you covered. Let me help with less than half of your Disney problems.

Enjoy.

  • Eat breakfast. And when I say eat, I mean fucking feast. Yea, yea, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but this is especially true when you will walk 12 miles a day and stand in a line for an hour to two hours. Eat a greasy, big, disgusting breakfast to keep you going.
  • Arrive early. Listen, I am not a morning person (when I am on vacation), but when it comes to getting in early at Disney, I might just wake up at 7 am. The earlier you go, the less you have to wait in line for the big attractions or roller coasters and the more time you have to explore. Up to you.
  • If you can walk between the parks. Ok, so I did not do this, but the only annoying complaint I have about my trip was waiting for the bus to go to the different parks. I did not know this, but if you combine Hollywood Studios and Epcot in one day, you can walk through the Disney Boardwalk and skip the transportation. Apparently, it is a short and fun walk, according to the Disney worker (whatever that means).
  • Mobile order food. Not like you have a choice. The only way you can get any food at a Disney restaurant is if you order it online, which brings me to my following headline:
  • Download the Disney app. So you can order the food. Plus, it is fantastic to have.
  • Plan out your top picks for each day. This shit is important. Make a list of your top 5-7 attractions you want to see/ do in every park. Please make a realistic list. Do not write a list of 20 roller coasters you want to do in each park because you will not be able to do them all (if you do, send me a dm). I DID what I did, which I thought was pretty smart. I googled top attractions for adults in the park I was visiting that day—the most and only helpful thing I did during my trip.
  • Keep track of your steps, so you can add them to your IG caption.
  • If you go with your parents as I did, make them sit while you stand in line. I don’t know, it’s a nice thing to do.
  • Get the popcorn. Don’t question it.
  • Wear a mask
  • Stay hydrated

In case anybody was wondering. My top rides at each park:

  1. Magic Kingdom: Space mountain.
  2. Epcot: Soarin’, and let me add that this ride is my favorite ride in Disney World. Fucking amazing. If I could only go to one ride in Disney World, this would be it.
  3. Hollywood Studios: Rock ‘n Roll coaster.
  4. Animal Kingdom: Avatar: flight of passage

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